On June 17, my 87-year-old stepfather peacefully passed away in his apartment while I was holding his hand
I was so lucky that in my life I was able to have three parents, two dads, and a mom. My real dad passed away when I was 9 and my mom when I was 38. For 17 years I have been able to build a friendship with my stepdad that I have been so privileged to have.
His passing was very quick. I kept asking myself if I wanted to be there at the end? What would it be like to see him take his last breath?
I was scared.
There comes a time when we become the parent and must make the adult decisions they have taught us no matter how hard.
As my dad took his last breath I held his hand and watched him close his eyes. I kissed his forehead and thanked him for everything he gave me.
The lessons we model to our children become full circle as they grow up. Instill kindness, compassion, and values, so even in the toughest times, they can make sense of what is right. When we struggle with choices we will hear our parent’s words in our hearts to help lead us when we feel alone.
I don’t believe there is any right way to handle the loss of a parent. My choice was to sit by his side. We laughed, we cried, and we told stories.
I will miss my daily phone call, and getting my Netflix recommendations.
I know he is with my mom and they are running free, dancing, and continuing to fill our world with music.
It will always be my honor that my stepfather peacefully passed away why I was holding his hand.
Wishing all father figures today a very happy fathers day.
4 Responses
You are an amazing lady and I’m so sorry for your loss. Love you
Thank you for sharing your story. I am sorry for your loss!
My Dearest Suzanne, and Clark and Elaine’s family,
Let me say right away; email is NOT my preferred form of sending memories but print this out and pretend I mailed it.
Dearest Clark was so much more than what casual folks saw. He was kind, appreciative of those that showed him respect, not wanting to impose on our friendship, generous. A meal with him was a please to both of us. I was so looking forward to deli again with him.
You know, we have many lives: the life we show others, the life our kids know, the life our work colleagues know, the life we think others know about us…and then there is the life when we let our hair down and some of us see the true measure of a person. Clark was all of these and I loved and appreciated them all.
I cannot offer condolences without offering some for his Beloved Elaine. What a wonderful life they had; Always filled with music. It was so sad that Clark was without her these so may years. I understand it. I’m certain he found pleasure in you, his children and the grandkidletts. You Suzanne, was his ship safe at anchor.
I celebrate the man that was Clark! Share what a wonderous couple Elaine and Clark were. Share with the grandchildren what wonderous folks grandpa and grandma were.
I have a quilt that celebrates Clark and Elaine. I offered it to Clark but he had nowhere to hang it. I have kept of safe. If you want it, I shall get it to you.
I shall miss him greatly but smile at the good time and all them quilts (many of which I still have).
Affectionately,
Joy
You were an amazing friend and up to the end, your love and compassion were so apparent. Thank you for everything you have done to support everything My Mom and Clark did.